Equality is not Enough

In the 50s and 60s, the Civil Rights Movement was successful in winning legal equality between white and black Americans. However, this was a far cry from the complete restoration necessary to truly heal the wounds from the past. Through it was certainly a glorious step in the journey, hundreds of years of dehumanization are not wiped away by a few laws.

Many Americans, especially whites, are confused about what has happened since those historic times, and about how the past is still playing out in the present. I think many whites simply feel like they don't know what the problem is. Maybe they think, "But we are equal now?" or "But I don't have a problem with black people", or "Why is this my fault? I'm not racist."

Though I think these thoughts and feelings are genuine, those sentiments reveal a real lack of a willingness to dig beneath the surface and acknowledge the true depths of destruction that have been left in our wake.

You see, the idea of "allowing them (blacks) to have the same rights as us (whites)" still reeks of rejection and arrogance. And sadly, that's where many people stopped a long time ago. They conceded, but they never welcomed. Welcome is an attitude and a heart stance, and you can't write it into a law.

Many Americans see programs like welfare or affirmative action as some sort of get-out-of-jail-free card, but refuse to acknowledge that the system itself already has every card stacked against the success of the black community. School tax divisions are set up to favor wealthy neighborhoods which are predominantly white because of hundreds of years of prosperity and favor. Poorer communities, which are primarily black, therefore, are predisposed to disadvantages in the area that could give them the most opportunity to change their circumstances. This system alone has ensured that black communities stay in a downward spiral of disintegration, ever more segregated from the fruits of a healthy life.

The reality is that white Americans are swimming in privileges and opportunities that they have taken for granted. And that's not really the worst thing. The worst thing is that many of them have simply been indifferent and oblivious to the plight of the black community. They have never really taken the time or interest in trying to understand what it means to grow up black in America.

The reality is that those of us who are considered white have a grave responsibility on our hands. It really doesn't matter if it's "not our fault" because it happened in the past. The truth is that the past has left our black brothers and sisters in complete disarray. Everything that was meaningful, that gives a human being dignity was stripped from them. We, our ancestors, treated generations of people like animals. There is profound trauma and brokenness that comes from something like that. Stuff like that doesn't get healed over night, nor even within a generation. It takes very intentional, very patient action to help overcome those wounds. Equality is nowhere near enough to set things right.

The black community needs us to go out of our way to support them.  We need to repent on behalf of those who came before us and acknowledge the injustice of their actions, rather than look on with indifference and apathy. We need to stop taking for granted the privilege of not living a life in fear because of the color of our skin. We need to recognize that much of what we enjoy today, in both freedoms and opportunities, has come at the cost of others.  Whatever lines exists, we need to be the first ones to step over them towards reconciliation.

We need to become their friends and be willing to listen to their hearts. We need to grow in understanding to their perspectives and challenges. We need to have uncomfortable conversations with them, even when that means that we have to face a less than pretty picture of ourselves.

Ask yourself, how close are you to the black community? Do most of the people who live around you look like you? If you see a black person while you are walking, do you make an effort to make eye contact with them? Do you go out of your way to show friendliness?  Do you work with black people? Do you go to church with black people? Have you made it a point to build genuine friendships with them? Have you asked them to tell you their stories of experiencing racism? Have you asked them how they feel every time they hear of another black person being murdered? What are you doing to make sure they feel safe, accepted, and affirmed in your presence? Have you simply asked, "What do you need from me to make things right?"

White people, white voices need to play an integral part in offering our service and support to the black community as they continue on the journey towards healing. We cannot ask them to do it on their own. We need to build meaningful partnerships with members of the black community to further discover what they need from us to continue growing towards a better future. We must do everything in our power to ensure that they are truly on equal footing with us in every area of their lives, that we haven't considered our own freedoms and rights more precious than theirs.  We must be willing to constantly confront our own biases and harmful attitudes. We need to come to appreciate and respect our differences, both in color and in culture, while remembering what makes us all human and therefore, united.  We have to fight for them and with them until the wounds are completely healed. Together, on this journey, we can all move toward a future that is hopeful and prosperous.

Casting Out Demons: A Personal Journey, Part 2

 

 Suddenly, a man with leprosy approached him and knelt before him. “Lord,” the man said, “if you are willing, you can heal me and make me clean.”  Jesus reached out and touched him. “I am willing,” he said. “Be healed!”

Matthew 8:2-3 

In the next session, I came again with my list again. I had written down some new things that I felt like the Lord was leading me to pray about specifically. I began to talk and pray with John and Cathy.

The first demon that came out started by shacking my head back and forth and crying out, No, NO, NO, NO. It wagged its finger in protest in John’s direction. That demon was loneliness and despair, and when it left, it revealed a reservoir of deep grief and terror. The pain moaned and wailed, and I reached for Cathy to hold on to her. It reminded me of Oliver when he hurts himself or gets really upset, how he reaches for me for comfort and rescue. I hold him until it passes. She held me.

Then, I remember they prayed against the spirit of depression and I could feel something stirring in me about that, so I told them to keep praying more. Soon, the demon of depression started to manifest and it was very rebellious, also saying NO, NO, NO and full of anguish.

Next, I remember confessing to them about some deeply shameful things that had happened when I was younger. It was so hard to say it out loud. I felt so much shame, but I forced myself to say it. Again, after saying it, another manifestation occurred and more deep emotional pain came with it.

I remember at one point, my soul crying out to God, saying “Lord Jesus, Lord Jesus! You’re so good. Thank you, Thank you!” I could feel him cleansing me and freeing me and rescuing me.

I remember at another moment, Cathy wiping me with water that had been blessed and saying over and over again that I was cleansed.

There is some confusion about what happened in which order because it was all so emotionally and physically charged. All the demons were very rebellious, often saying things, like, “No, you can’t!” or something like, “No, I’m not going to do that!”, when they were being commanded to leave. They even laughed mockingly, and my body would twist and fight like a child’s temper tantrum. There was a lot of crying and wailing and shaking.

I remember Cathy telling me to look into her eyes, but the demon didn’t want to, but I forced myself to look. She told it to go and when it was gone, my temperament changed and I was child-like and vulnerable.

During each manifestation, I was often confessing my sins or traumas, as well as renouncing any influence of the enemy that had been allowed in.

At one point, I went to the bathroom and when I come back, I sat down and a childish impatience started to manifest. I said out loud, “This is taking too long!” I soon confessed my sins of impatience, frustration, anger, and criticism and renounced the demonic attachment. This demon was particularly rebellious and started spitting with its tongue out like a child does in disrespect or mocking. Then, it stuck it’s tongue straight out and down. Then, it left.

Each manifestation was a familiar sensation in my body. I had felt it and known it before as if it were my own. My own attitudes and thoughts and feelings.

At the end, Cathy and John encouraged me to invite the Holy Spirit to come and give me a sense of his presence filling the places from which the enemy was just expelled.

I did get a sense and an image of him cleaning out all the ‘bad guys’ from my room and then staying to take care of me. I got a sense of his joy. However, later on, in prayer, I got an even deeper sense of God’s ability to Lord over my darkness. We spend so much time trying to hide from him because we don’t really believe he is strong enough to overcome it. He is not afraid of it. He is not offset by the shame of it. His jealousy and protection over us is more fierce.

I am realizing how much I have distrusted God. I haven’t believed he could really take care of my most profound struggles. I have believed that he wasn’t strong enough to help me. I believed that he had forgotten me in a desert land. Now I can see him. He is like a mother who relentlessly watches over her children. Nothing can stand in the way of her love for them, not even her own life.  

My hunger for the Lord has grown so much in just a few weeks. Before, I was dull, but now, I am insatiable.