Equality is not Enough

In the 50s and 60s, the Civil Rights Movement was successful in winning legal equality between white and black Americans. However, this was a far cry from the complete restoration necessary to truly heal the wounds from the past. Through it was certainly a glorious step in the journey, hundreds of years of dehumanization are not wiped away by a few laws.

Many Americans, especially whites, are confused about what has happened since those historic times, and about how the past is still playing out in the present. I think many whites simply feel like they don't know what the problem is. Maybe they think, "But we are equal now?" or "But I don't have a problem with black people", or "Why is this my fault? I'm not racist."

Though I think these thoughts and feelings are genuine, those sentiments reveal a real lack of a willingness to dig beneath the surface and acknowledge the true depths of destruction that have been left in our wake.

You see, the idea of "allowing them (blacks) to have the same rights as us (whites)" still reeks of rejection and arrogance. And sadly, that's where many people stopped a long time ago. They conceded, but they never welcomed. Welcome is an attitude and a heart stance, and you can't write it into a law.

Many Americans see programs like welfare or affirmative action as some sort of get-out-of-jail-free card, but refuse to acknowledge that the system itself already has every card stacked against the success of the black community. School tax divisions are set up to favor wealthy neighborhoods which are predominantly white because of hundreds of years of prosperity and favor. Poorer communities, which are primarily black, therefore, are predisposed to disadvantages in the area that could give them the most opportunity to change their circumstances. This system alone has ensured that black communities stay in a downward spiral of disintegration, ever more segregated from the fruits of a healthy life.

The reality is that white Americans are swimming in privileges and opportunities that they have taken for granted. And that's not really the worst thing. The worst thing is that many of them have simply been indifferent and oblivious to the plight of the black community. They have never really taken the time or interest in trying to understand what it means to grow up black in America.

The reality is that those of us who are considered white have a grave responsibility on our hands. It really doesn't matter if it's "not our fault" because it happened in the past. The truth is that the past has left our black brothers and sisters in complete disarray. Everything that was meaningful, that gives a human being dignity was stripped from them. We, our ancestors, treated generations of people like animals. There is profound trauma and brokenness that comes from something like that. Stuff like that doesn't get healed over night, nor even within a generation. It takes very intentional, very patient action to help overcome those wounds. Equality is nowhere near enough to set things right.

The black community needs us to go out of our way to support them.  We need to repent on behalf of those who came before us and acknowledge the injustice of their actions, rather than look on with indifference and apathy. We need to stop taking for granted the privilege of not living a life in fear because of the color of our skin. We need to recognize that much of what we enjoy today, in both freedoms and opportunities, has come at the cost of others.  Whatever lines exists, we need to be the first ones to step over them towards reconciliation.

We need to become their friends and be willing to listen to their hearts. We need to grow in understanding to their perspectives and challenges. We need to have uncomfortable conversations with them, even when that means that we have to face a less than pretty picture of ourselves.

Ask yourself, how close are you to the black community? Do most of the people who live around you look like you? If you see a black person while you are walking, do you make an effort to make eye contact with them? Do you go out of your way to show friendliness?  Do you work with black people? Do you go to church with black people? Have you made it a point to build genuine friendships with them? Have you asked them to tell you their stories of experiencing racism? Have you asked them how they feel every time they hear of another black person being murdered? What are you doing to make sure they feel safe, accepted, and affirmed in your presence? Have you simply asked, "What do you need from me to make things right?"

White people, white voices need to play an integral part in offering our service and support to the black community as they continue on the journey towards healing. We cannot ask them to do it on their own. We need to build meaningful partnerships with members of the black community to further discover what they need from us to continue growing towards a better future. We must do everything in our power to ensure that they are truly on equal footing with us in every area of their lives, that we haven't considered our own freedoms and rights more precious than theirs.  We must be willing to constantly confront our own biases and harmful attitudes. We need to come to appreciate and respect our differences, both in color and in culture, while remembering what makes us all human and therefore, united.  We have to fight for them and with them until the wounds are completely healed. Together, on this journey, we can all move toward a future that is hopeful and prosperous.

Casting Out Demons: A Personal Journey, Part 2

 

 Suddenly, a man with leprosy approached him and knelt before him. “Lord,” the man said, “if you are willing, you can heal me and make me clean.”  Jesus reached out and touched him. “I am willing,” he said. “Be healed!”

Matthew 8:2-3 

In the next session, I came again with my list again. I had written down some new things that I felt like the Lord was leading me to pray about specifically. I began to talk and pray with John and Cathy.

The first demon that came out started by shacking my head back and forth and crying out, No, NO, NO, NO. It wagged its finger in protest in John’s direction. That demon was loneliness and despair, and when it left, it revealed a reservoir of deep grief and terror. The pain moaned and wailed, and I reached for Cathy to hold on to her. It reminded me of Oliver when he hurts himself or gets really upset, how he reaches for me for comfort and rescue. I hold him until it passes. She held me.

Then, I remember they prayed against the spirit of depression and I could feel something stirring in me about that, so I told them to keep praying more. Soon, the demon of depression started to manifest and it was very rebellious, also saying NO, NO, NO and full of anguish.

Next, I remember confessing to them about some deeply shameful things that had happened when I was younger. It was so hard to say it out loud. I felt so much shame, but I forced myself to say it. Again, after saying it, another manifestation occurred and more deep emotional pain came with it.

I remember at one point, my soul crying out to God, saying “Lord Jesus, Lord Jesus! You’re so good. Thank you, Thank you!” I could feel him cleansing me and freeing me and rescuing me.

I remember at another moment, Cathy wiping me with water that had been blessed and saying over and over again that I was cleansed.

There is some confusion about what happened in which order because it was all so emotionally and physically charged. All the demons were very rebellious, often saying things, like, “No, you can’t!” or something like, “No, I’m not going to do that!”, when they were being commanded to leave. They even laughed mockingly, and my body would twist and fight like a child’s temper tantrum. There was a lot of crying and wailing and shaking.

I remember Cathy telling me to look into her eyes, but the demon didn’t want to, but I forced myself to look. She told it to go and when it was gone, my temperament changed and I was child-like and vulnerable.

During each manifestation, I was often confessing my sins or traumas, as well as renouncing any influence of the enemy that had been allowed in.

At one point, I went to the bathroom and when I come back, I sat down and a childish impatience started to manifest. I said out loud, “This is taking too long!” I soon confessed my sins of impatience, frustration, anger, and criticism and renounced the demonic attachment. This demon was particularly rebellious and started spitting with its tongue out like a child does in disrespect or mocking. Then, it stuck it’s tongue straight out and down. Then, it left.

Each manifestation was a familiar sensation in my body. I had felt it and known it before as if it were my own. My own attitudes and thoughts and feelings.

At the end, Cathy and John encouraged me to invite the Holy Spirit to come and give me a sense of his presence filling the places from which the enemy was just expelled.

I did get a sense and an image of him cleaning out all the ‘bad guys’ from my room and then staying to take care of me. I got a sense of his joy. However, later on, in prayer, I got an even deeper sense of God’s ability to Lord over my darkness. We spend so much time trying to hide from him because we don’t really believe he is strong enough to overcome it. He is not afraid of it. He is not offset by the shame of it. His jealousy and protection over us is more fierce.

I am realizing how much I have distrusted God. I haven’t believed he could really take care of my most profound struggles. I have believed that he wasn’t strong enough to help me. I believed that he had forgotten me in a desert land. Now I can see him. He is like a mother who relentlessly watches over her children. Nothing can stand in the way of her love for them, not even her own life.  

My hunger for the Lord has grown so much in just a few weeks. Before, I was dull, but now, I am insatiable.

Casting Out Demons: A Personal Journey, Part 1

Well, if you were questioning my sanity a little bit with my last blog post, you may start demanding that I get professional help with the next few.

The issue of Satan and his army of demons has long been a bizarre topic, even among followers of Christ, often polarizing believers from one extreme to the other. I think because of the controversy it can create, as well as the rabbit holes that often ensue, many have just decided to leave it alone. Personally, I believe that in doing that, we have actually positioned ourselves in grave danger. It is that danger that I hope to alert us to with a story of my own personal experience.

Just a few weeks after I arrived here from Brazil, I was over at John and Cathy’s house, picking up my mail. We were just chatting, and they were about to leave to go workout, so I piped up about how I had been doing yoga and that it had greatly helped my back. I even showed them my “plank”. Anyways, John sighed and said, “Oh Allison, you gotta stop doing yoga.” And of course, I said, “Why??”
He proceeded to tell me about how recently he had heard of a bunch of Vineyard pastors being freed of demonic oppression related to tattoos and doing yoga.

I was confused. I have tattoos and I do yoga.

This conversation stirred curiosity in me, and I immediately wanted to know more. So I started researching the man who had lead the conference and listening to his messages. What he had to say fascinated and challenged me. Two things struck me the most. First of all, this guy didn’t sound like some crazy demon hunter. His theology was rooted in Scripture, and his explanations were practical. Secondly, I felt that while I was listening to these messages, a completely new world was being opened up to me. A world that surrounds us everywhere we go, but we are often completely oblivious to.
In the Vineyard, especially, we spend a lot of time talking about the Kingdom of Heaven. We long for the Kingdom of Heaven to come. We sing songs about it and our prayers are filled with the language of Heaven coming down.
But much less often and in a much more general way, do we truly acknowledge the kingdom of Satan. We know its there. We speculate about it. We infer at times that it is working in our circumstances. But mostly, it is shrouded in mystery. We are unaware and unfamiliar with the mechanics of this other kingdom, and how it is directly effecting our lives.
The kingdom of Satan was suddenly becoming a very tangible reality to me. And I realized something that was also very devastating.
“This guy (Satan) is getting away with EVERYTHING because we don’t believe that he EXISTS!”

So many people in my life that I had discipled and loved on and prayed diligently for, and yet they remained stuck in their old patterns and habits or sick and dying. And that included myself. I, too, am among those still caught in certain cycles and thought patterns and habits that no matter how much I have prayed or received inner healing for, stayed the same. The needle was unmoved in those areas.
Now, it was beginning to make sense why myself and so many others were not getting free, or were only experiencing partial freedom. We have been ignoring an important piece of the puzzle, the influence of demons.
While listening to these messages, I started making notes, taking an inventory of my past and current sins, yoga being one of them. This was familiar process to me as I had already done an extensive inventory of my past when I did the 12 steps several years ago.

I set up an appointment with John to talk and pray about these things. I came with my list in hand, ready to confess and renounce all of it. I started with the first things on my list, but soon felt like I should speak directly about the yoga stuff.
To be clear, I had never practiced yoga in any “religious” way. In fact, at least to me, the videos that I watched on YouTube seemed mostly mundane of any strong spiritual influence. I still can’t say that I truly understand all the connections, but what I can be sure of is my personal experience.
Once I began to pray specifically about yoga, confessing and renouncing any affiliations, I heard John begin to pray against a specific spirit often connected to yoga. It was a python spirit, and once John said those words, I begin to feel my head start to bury into my chest and my breathing became heavy. Soon, I was moaning and huffing. I stood up and stomped my feet, and with a strong moan like a woman in labor, I felt a force push up and out of my mouth. Then, it was gone and I sat back down. I was only vaguely aware of some of John’s prayer during this time. There were definitely commands for the demon to go, and I remember, specifically, commands for it to release my prayer life.
We kept praying for awhile and about different issues, but at least in this session, nothing else happened.
Immediately in the days that followed this event, I noticed a new hunger and ability to pray. It was much easier than it had been for quite some time.

As we read the Gospels, we see Jesus doing at least 3 things over and over again. He preaches the good news about the Kingdom of Heaven, he heals the sick and he casts out demons. Often in fact, the healing of the sick was directly related to the casting out of demons. Farther, he then trains his disciples to do the exact same things. If you take a look at a lot of the current church today, you would never know that these other 2 things were even on the agenda.
I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of watching the people I love suffer endlessly. If there is something that can be done about it, I want to know. Now, I know that we are not going to get rid of all of our problems while here in the Earth, but it seems like we could be having a lot more wins then we do. If we truly believe the word of God, if we really believe that God gave us authority to heal the sick and cast out demons and set the captives free, then let’s get to it!
I have to personally confess that I have not really believed the Bible in this area. I have not really believed that I could heal the sick or cast out demons. I have not really believed that freedom was a real possibility. I want to believe, and I want to see.

In my next post, I will describe my next session of deliverance with both John and Cathy, and how God powerfully moved me toward deeper freedom from the demonic.

Love,
Allison

Here is what's Comin', Folks

What I plan to say here is probably not going to be very popular. There will be some who will probably take offense or thinks it's ridiculous. I'm OK with that.

Nevertheless, I believe what I am about to say is very real and very close. I am going so far as to give a prediction of what is coming in our near future. This is meant to be directed towards those who would call themselves followers of Christ.

I don't think many would disagree that the American cultural landscape is going through some pretty dramatic changes at the moment. It would seem that on every front, there is turmoil and upheaval. Everyone seems to be pumped up with an anxious energy that is sparking fires on every side. America is angry and for a hundred different reasons. It is in this hotbed environment that some major shifts have taken place.
One of those shifts are in relationship to the rapidly growing LGTBQ community. Even a decade ago, for someone to identify as a part of this community was considered controversial, but nowadays, it appears as though half the population identifies outside of the traditional male and female sexual norms. I watch a lot of Netflix, and I am hard pressed to find a show that doesn't have at least one LGTBQ character. 
As a follower of Christ, I have tried to line up my views of the world from a biblical standpoint, however I personally have no problem respecting those who share a different viewpoint than me. The problem is that my biblical viewpoint in relation to sexuality to quickly being demonized by the culture. Before, I was allowed to disagree, but not anymore. Now, if I disagree, I am a bigot and a "rascist". Saying that I disagree has come to the point of being almost at the level of a hate crime. It is not just my opinion, but an offensive attack on an entire people group. This sentiment is growing and gaining momentum at record proportions.
I believe this momentum is a strategic attack from Satan himself. There are dark forces behind this and they are not to be taken lightly. I know its not popular to believe in Satan and demons and the darkness, unless of course, you are watching Stranger Things and then it's cool.
The Bible teaches, however, that the forces of darkness are very real and very much at work within our world, and we are to be on guard against them.
Maybe you too have noticed this change within the environment, but you think, "Well, I can protect myself or I can just ignore it." Maybe you think that because you are in the United States of America, land of the free, you will not have to suffer any consequences of the darkness. 
Let me advise you against trusting in that. Here's why.
Have you ever heard of Edward Snowden? If not, I suggest you watch the movie after his name, Snowden. What he reveals is the incredible capacity that the US government has to surveillance almost everything we do using the technology that we take for granted in our everyday lives. Your cell phone, computer, ipad, tablets, security systems, etc., all have the capacity to watch and hear you. Privacy in the modern world is an illusion. Even if you got rid of every device and cut off your internet, all you would have to do is walk out of your house and the government has several hundred satellites that can watch you from space.
Now, let's imagine that our government decided to turn on us and use that information against us. (If you need help with this, please read the classic novel 1984)
Right now, maybe you are thinking, "Well, I'm not doing anything wrong, so what is the problem?"
But was if what is "wrong" changes to include our thoughts and opinions? I hope I am painting a clear enough picture for you now about the possible consequence of something like that. Now, it should all be dawning on you what I am getting at. And now, you are either thinking that this is a little laughable or flat out ridiculous. And believe me, I hope you are right.
Unfortunately, what I have described here is becoming a real possibility as I peer into the future, and if we don't become aware of it now, it will be on our backs before we know it.

Saying all this, I also believe that God is offering us an incredible invitation at the moment. I don't believe the above scenario is set in stone. I believe God is on the move to try and change this. Some of you who are old enough will remember that back in the 60s and 70s when the Sexual Revolution as well as many other changes were taking place in our culture, another movement emerged. The Jesus Movement. The Spirit of God was poured out on many and the fruits of that movement make up many of our pastors and spiritual leaders today. It was a great harvest of the Lord to continue the growth of the body of Christ and His bride, the Church.
I believe God wants to do something similar to that soon. I believe he wants to bring a sweet and liberating move of His presence over our culture, calling back the sexually broken, the lost and abandoned by a way of life that leads to destruction. I believe Jesus has every intention of shutting up the lies of the enemy that are currently trying wrap around and entrap us. Jesus wants to tear down these arguments and strategies of the enemy and reveal them for what they truly are.
But we must open our eyes to what is coming and pray. We must fight. We can't be complacent. We must be repentant. We need to deeply groan on the inside with hunger for the presence of God. Let us pray as Ezra prayed,

⁵ At the time of the sacrifice, I stood up from where I had sat in mourning with my clothes torn. I fell to my knees and lifted my hands to the Lord my God. ⁶ I prayed,

“O my God, I am utterly ashamed; I blush to lift up my face to you. For our sins are piled higher than our heads, and our guilt has reached to the heavens. ⁷ From the days of our ancestors until now, we have been steeped in sin. That is why we and our kings and our priests have been at the mercy of the pagan kings of the land. We have been killed, captured, robbed, and disgraced, just as we are today.

⁸ “But now we have been given a brief moment of grace, for the Lord our God has allowed a few of us to survive as a remnant. He has given us security in this holy place. Our God has brightened our eyes and granted us some relief from our slavery. ⁹ For we were slaves, but in his unfailing love our God did not abandon us in our slavery. Instead, he caused the kings of Persia to treat us favorably. He revived us so we could rebuild the Temple of our God and repair its ruins. He has given us a protective wall in Judah and Jerusalem.

God is giving us an opportunity to partner with Him in His plans to restore us. Not because we deserve it, but because he is merciful. Let us repent together on behalf of our culture and ask for His healing presence to come over us and save us from destruction.